Remedies for a Sensitive Mother

As a highly sensitive person, soothing my nervous system is an ever-evolving daily practice. My beautiful son recently entered toddlerhood which means a lot of big emotions (for us both)! I would like to share the three-step thought process I use to guide my child and myself through rocky waters.

I have found that when I use this method, I am able to parent from a place of peace. I now do not fear such difficulties. I instead see them as a part of our flow and welcome them as an opportunity for expansion.

1. First, I do not take my child's reactions personally. I believe strongly that understanding the development of a child's brain is necessary for healthy parenting. By educating myself, I can see my child's behavior as typical and not as a personal attack against me. When confronted with an outburst, I take a breath and remind myself that it is not my fault (or his fault); rather, he is responding to a situation age-appropriately.

2. Next, I am present during the emotion, and I model options for moving through them with compassion, understanding, and boundaries.

• Compassion, as in thinking, it must be hard to feel out of control. I have felt like that before too.

• Understanding like, as an 18-month-old, he cannot reason while acting from a place of this big emotion, I am going to let him know I am here with him and that he is safe as he moves through it.

• Boundaries such as, "I will not let you hit me", and "it is my job to keep you safe".

(This all takes practice and additional education on child development. I strongly recommend looking into Janet Lansbury's work as a trusted resource.)

3. As my child returns to a state of calm, I take a moment to reflect on what just took place. No matter what, I always give myself (and my inner child) gentle grace. If I act out of disconnect and impatience, I would remind myself that perfect parenting isn't a thing. I quickly move on and return to the present moment. If I notice negative self-talk, "you should have known..." "you're not a good mother...", then I recognize deeper healing for myself is required.

A few other ways to feel grounded:

• Notice areas of the home or routine that are over-stimulating and/or confusing for you and your child, then work on shifting those areas to a calmer and predictable space.

• Work on establishing a flexible routine for you and your child. Communicate with your child when shifts in the routine are required.

• Get into nature and let yourself and your child experience the natural world through the eyes of imagination and wonder, letting go of expectation and rigidness.